that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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