All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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