Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
