id be glad to
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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