Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
