is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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