I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
