Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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