I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
