Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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