Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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