Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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