I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
