so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize