have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Someone signed my nipple.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
