Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
