Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize