dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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