The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
