NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
