Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
