is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
