It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
