He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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