It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She bit a glass in half.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
