no. you can't hotbox the world.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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