I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
