Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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