Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
