Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
