Yo dont text me then not text me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
