Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
