I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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