It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
