i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
