I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
