She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
