Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
