Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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