just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
