I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
