so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
