I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
