What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
