also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
