Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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