Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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