$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
