You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
