DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
