so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
