we have officially lost it.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
