I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
