When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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