Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
