I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
