we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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