This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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