so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
