That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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