is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
handjob tips. give me some.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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