...so i touched it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
