i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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