we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He? As in you personified your dick?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
