Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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